Walk & Talk: Using the body to create connection

Have you ever noticed that some of the best conversations with your child happen not when you sit face-to-face but when you’re doing something side-by-side—walking, driving, or even folding laundry together? There’s a reason for this. Science tells us that bilateral stimulation, such as the rhythmic movement of walking, helps children feel safer, regulate their emotions, and open up about their thoughts and feelings.

As a Catholic therapist, I’ve created Walk & Talk Questions (DOWNLOAD WITH FREE LINK BELOW), modeled on Drs. John and Julie Gottman’s Love Map questions, to help parents and children strengthen their bond through secure attachment and meaningful conversation. These questions aren’t just small talk; they are a way to deeply understand your child’s heart, just as the Gottmans’ research has helped couples build lasting, connected marriages.

But why does walking make such a difference? And how does this tie into secure attachment and our faith? Let’s explore the science behind it and how we can integrate it into Catholic parenting.

Neuroscience has revealed that bilateral stimulation, such as walking, activates both hemispheres of the brain, promoting emotional processing, reducing stress, and increasing cognitive flexibility. Studies have shown that movement can help children and adults access deeper emotions and memories, making it easier to talk about feelings and experiences (Propper & Moore, 2006).

Research on eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy—often used to treat trauma—demonstrates that bilateral stimulation aids emotional regulation and integration (Shapiro, 2018). Walking provides a similar effect, helping children feel more at ease in opening up to parents in a low-pressure environment.

When you’re sitting across from someone, especially in a high-emotion conversation, it can feel intense and even intimidating. But when you walk side by side, the movement itself promotes calm, making it easier to discuss difficult topics.

Think about the disciples on the Road to Emmaus (Luke 24:13-35). It was while walking that Jesus revealed Himself to them and their hearts were set ablaze with understanding. Movement fosters connection and revelation.

One of the deepest needs of every child (and every human being) is to be seen, known, and loved. Secure attachment, a concept deeply rooted in attachment science, refers to the trust and safety a child feels when they know a caregiver understands and responds to their emotional needs consistently.

As Catholic parents, we know that this mirrors our relationship with God. Just as God sees and knows us intimately (Psalm 139), children need to feel this from their parents. Research by Dr. Dan Siegel on interpersonal neurobiologyhas shown that when children feel seen, their nervous systems regulate, their brains develop more resilience, and they form stronger emotional intelligence (Siegel, 2012).

When we walk and talk with our children, we give them the gift of attunement—listening, asking good questions, and responding in a way that helps them feel truly known.

I created Walk & Talk Questions to give parents a structured but natural way to connect with their children. These questions are inspired by Dr. John Gottman’s Love Maps, which help couples build emotional intimacy by regularly asking questions to know each other deeply.

Love Maps aren’t just for marriage! When parents engage in curious, open-ended conversations with their children, they strengthen the emotional foundation of the relationship.

Here are a few examples of Walk & Talk Questions you can try:

• What was the best part of your day? The hardest part?
• If you could have any superpower, what would it be and why?
• What’s something you’re really proud of?
• What’s one thing you wish grown-ups understood about being a kid?
• Where do you feel closest to God?

You don’t need to interrogate your child or expect deep conversations every time. The goal is connection, not perfection. Some days, they’ll give one-word answers. Other days, they’ll surprise you by sharing their heart.

In Catholic theology, the way we love our children reflects the way God loves us. He walks with us—patiently, attentively, and without forcing connection. Jesus meets people in their journeys, whether on the road, by the sea, or at a well.

As parents, we are called to mirror this divine presence—to walk with our children, meet them where they are, and help them feel safe, seen, and loved.

Practical takeaway:
Try a 10-minute daily walk with your child, even if it’s just around the block. Put away the phones, ask one Walk & Talk Question, and let the conversation flow.

Building secure attachment isn’t about grand gestures; it’s about small, consistent moments of connection. Walking, asking good questions, and truly listening can transform not just your relationship with your child but their ability to trust, regulate emotions, and feel deeply loved—by you and by God.

As Pope Francis reminds us:
"Time is greater than space." (Evangelii Gaudium, 222)

It’s not about how much space you create but how consistently you show up.

So take that walk. Ask that question. And trust that God is present in every step of the journey.